I made it. it’s over. Until next year.
Archive for November, 2009
NaBloPoMo
Monday, November 30th, 2009secret life
Sunday, November 29th, 2009People used to ask me exactly what it was I did when I went to Germany. How could someone possibly go to the same place so many times when there are so many other great cities in Europe? Well, here’s a wee incite into the secret life I live in Mannheim:
On Saturday – which was as about representative of any other day I’ve spent there – I woke up (late) and had a breakfast of rolls and jam. Then me and Conny head into town on the tram. We hit the shops and I came away with four bras, a new top, four pairs of earrings, three necklaces, four blocks of chocolate and a buttload of zimtsterne. To be fair the zimtsterne was only coz it’s near Christmas.
After shopping we drank three glasses of Gluhwein with friends and talked smack. We followed this up with pretzel sticks and bubbles at an optometrist’s shop. Then we made our way to a gas station where we had ice tea, coke, beer and cheese toasties.
This is the night that I discovered two key indicators that it’s time for bed:
1. You tell the taxi driver you need to go to Feudenheim when in fact you live in Ilvesheim.
2. Your friend’s parents are still up when you stroll in with her holding a beer at 1am and you announce that you’d learnt a new German sentence today and exclaim, “Dies ist ein großer Hund!”
drunk
Sunday, November 29th, 2009This is what happens when you get drunk in Germany. You learn how to say the following:
Dies ist ein großer Hund.
Wo ist mein käse?
Ah Germany, how I’ve missed you!
Sorry for the spelling mistakes. I’m not German.
internet dating
Friday, November 27th, 2009As geeky as I am, I draw the line at internet dating. My favourite internet dating story is:
You have to be careful because a guy may look okay in his profile picture but then you meet him and he’s wearing a Coca-Cola belt buckle.
However, if I were to write an online dating profile for myself it’d go something like this:
I’m a discerning gadget nut that loved being a geek so much I turned it into a career. I love live music and photography (occasionally at the same time) and can’t resist a good bargain. My online shopping obsession could probably be put down to the fact that it combines three of my favourite things: shopping, the internet and getting stuff on the mail.
I’d never get a date but hey, I’d still have my internet.
gym bunny
Thursday, November 26th, 2009I miss being a gym bunny. I miss the days when I would drag my butt to the gym 12 times a week (I know, weirdo). There is just something about London that makes you want to stay inside. Next year I’m going to see if a Billy Blanks Tae Bo DVD can solve my lack of exercise issue.
leggings
Wednesday, November 25th, 2009Okay people, here is the rule: if you wear it with leggings you should feel relatively comfortable wearing it without leggings. Basically, don’t wear just leggings and a shirt. If you’re my friend, I will tell you to go change. If you’re not, I will point and stare.
the truth
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009The thing I love about digging through your old back-ups and files is you find little gems that you would have otherwise lost in the dusty corners of your cluttered brain.
What I found tonight was a note that I’d written to Kat on 24 January back in 2007 just before I left Sydney for Guadalajara, Mexico:
So I was out at a club in Sydney on Saturday night when a guy skooches up next to me and says “I just need to know your name…”
ME: “Do you want the real one or the fake one I give to people I don’t know?”
RANDOM GUY: “The real one.”
ME: I don’t really lie so I told the truth…
RANDOM GUY: “Can I buy you a drink?”
ME: “I have to go dance with my girlfriends…”
Pause for an hour while I go and dance with my flatmates. Cut to when I am walking out of the club to go home…
RANDOM GUY skooches up again out of NOWHERE: “All I want is your number.”
ME: “I’m leaving the country on Friday at 4pm… I’m moving to Mexico.”
RANDOM GUY: “Yeah, sure you are!”
In a situation where it would have been easier to lie: give a fake name, say that I like girls not boys, give a fake phone number… I tell the complete honest truth and did he believe me? NO!
Now, is that or is that not something you’d want to remember?! Sometimes fact is funnier than fiction.
flagpole
Monday, November 23rd, 2009I think one of my greatest moments was when I strung up someone’s bra on the flagpole outside a famous Scottish restaurant back in 2001. Good times.
dress like a boy
Sunday, November 22nd, 2009Carrying on from my post about not being a girl, I’m not a girl. My idea of dressing casually is putting on jeans and a t-shirt. But I see girls all the time in their casual clothes and they look so much more dressed up than I do. The difference? They wear the jeans and t-shirt, but they team it with a cute cardigan and a scarf. Then they add some cute boots and a massive handbag and bingo-bango they’re a girl! I just don’t think I have that girl gene.
babies
Saturday, November 21st, 2009I’ve had babies throw up on me. And no, it doesn’t gross me out (too much). Changing nappies also doesn’t gross me out too much either. It can’t be any worse than a public toilet after all.
What does gross me out is when I’m babysitting a three month old and it’s his bath time. So I fill his bath, strip him off, carry him over and this is the moment he chooses to pee on me… when I’m wearing my new jeans… and don’t have a change of clothes with me. Fantastic.